Ever looked around and it seems like everyone is moving fast but you’re standing still?

It’s like something straight out of a movie.  Picture it – camera pans over and you walk onto the scene or into house or restaurant or wherever (pick a place) and the world slows down, the lights dim, and a voiceover starts: “I bet you’re wondering how I got here…to this place…at this time…with these people…well, yeah. Me too.”  Or something like that.

That’s how it is when you are trying to live the life of a double agent.

So, at this point you’re probably reading this thinking that I’ve gone off the deep end.  Life of a double agent – bah!  Yet, something about that rings true.

It must get tiring being an undercover Christian….

Monday through Saturday no one knows that Jesus Christ is your Lord and Savior, yet Sunday rolls around and #Church selfies and #Blessed is all anyone sees from you.

Loving the Lord is a full time thing-

Your walk with Jesus is your walk.  However, it is time to get off the fence.  You cannot listen to rap music chocked full of curse words all week (or any music for that matter) and then one day of gospel music (but only until the radio switched back over) and expect to be taken seriously as a Christian.  To expect to not be seen as a hypocrite.

You cannot be a double agent-

No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money. (Matthew 6:24)

Now yes, I realize it says that you cannot serve God and money.  The thing we want to focus on is that YOU CAN NOT SERVE TWO MASTERS.

We cannot bat for both teams.  Play both offense and defense.  You can’t turn up for the world all week and Saturday – cursing, fornicating, gossiping, backbiting, etc – and then maybe show up to church on Sunday and try to give God maybe 3-4 hungover (when will this be done) hours.  Y’all we got to do better.  It’s imperative as Christians, children of Christ, that we do better.

We were even told:

From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so. Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water?  (James 3:10-11)

And:

Either make the tree good and its fruit good, or make the tree bad and its fruit bad, for the tree is known by its fruit. You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. (Matthew 12:33-34)

Then of course everyone’s favorite:

I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot! So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth.  (Revelations 3:15-16)

Now even though this Revelations portion was written to the Church of Laodicea, it still applies to us.  We need to pick a side.

Marvel or DC?

Seriously, I don’t mean this piece to be doom and gloom, but eye opening instead.

How can I speak about being a double agent?  What gives me the right?

I’m a semi-retired (God is working on me, and I’m gladly letting Him, and want Him to) double agent myself.

I used to curse (like a Sailor) and listen to some rap (full of crazy curse words), but mostly rock and pop.  I liked going out and “turning up” and enjoying the latest adult beverage out.  I was also a “well I guess it’s time for church person,” too.

Yet, the closer that my walk became and becomes with God – cursing fell off (one of the first things to go), even my close friends noticed the change – so much so that the closer I get to God and my light shines, the more uncomfortable they feel cursing around me.  The latest rap song and rock songs no longer appeal to me, yet worship and gospel songs make my heart flutter and my spirit happy.  Going out to parties became and have become a hassle.  I felt and feel like I didn’t fit in.  Like I was (am) an outsider.  So I stopped going (feels much better than trying to fit in), and started trying to attend Bible study (well New Members Class… I really like it!).  I’m still working on fully stopping drinking (I still do a glass of wine every now and then), but by the grace of God I no longer smoke cigarettes.  Plus fellowshipping with other Christians in the House of the Lord is something I truly look forward to.  Honestly any time in the House of the Lord is something I am excited about and always “game” for.

Sidenote: being completely honest I know that it was nothing but God that has broken my addictions – and nothing that I have done.  Also I know that if I still have them it’s not because He didn’t take them away.  It’s because I refuse to let go.  However, that’s a different post.

So now, cue movie scene, dim lights, I casually stroll in… “I bet you’re wondering how I got here, a semi-retired double agent.  Steadily working her way to retirement.  Gladly….willing to help any other agents who want to retire as well….”

So is anybody ready for retirement? To pick an agency?  It must get awefully tiring having to balance on that fence.